“Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
Light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death.”
Psalm 13:3 ESV
After being
dogged by an unidentified illness for the better part of a month or more my symptoms
grew more severe—fatigue, weakness, brain fog, but most oddly no fever. In
celebration of the new year, I completely lost my senses of smell and taste. Dear friends almost dragged me to the clinic
where I was diagnosed with Malaria and, as a kicker, a dose of the “maladie de
la année,” Covid-19. My symptoms continued to grow more acute.
One dark night
the following week I sat in bed anticipating meeting Jesus. I had never felt so
ill as the “sleep of death.” While it would be my joy, not fear that would mark
our meeting, I remain uncomfortable with the review of my life that will
follow. Christ bore my sin burden and
freed me from the torment of hell, but as King David observed, “my sin is ever
before me.” God has forgiven me more
than I have myself. I was sure that
night would be my last.
I embraced
Psalm 51 in prayer. I acknowledged that
all my sins were against God. I grasped at his steadfast love and abundant
mercy. I begged of Him a clean heart and a right spirit. He opened my lips to
declare his praise. I then dozed only to
be awakened sometime later by novel sensations at the base of my chest,
something like warmth, but not temperature, something like vibration without
movement. I dozed some more.
That morning I
awoke after a peaceful sleep. I felt
renewed as if it were a Saturday morning in spring filled with breeze and birds. I felt surprisingly better. I savored the
first moments of wakefulness and bid God good morning. There was an air of
peace and calm in the room. There was a
palpable sense of the numinous—a feeling of the presence of the divine.
Each day since
then I have felt better. I still
experience a bit of fatigue and some weakness, but the dark night has been
replaced by a warm sunrise. The abundant
prayers of so many in the form of the merciful, healing hand of God are
obvious. I owe much to those who have
and continue to pray like persistent widows on my behalf and to my wife Janet
who has encouraged me and asked for prayers for my healing. On that very dark night I could feel the
effect of your prayers. I am surprised
at the pace of my healing. The doctors
and nurses have expressed pleasure at my vitals such as a pulseox level of
98%-to 99% and total lack of a fever from Malaria or Covid.
I am not sure
why I have been graced with such an uneventful recovery from two potentially
serious illnesses. I can only think to
attribute it to the abundance of prayers of my wife Janet, our many friends,
acquaintances, and colleagues and the response of a God who loves me in spite
of my very abundant and profound human failings. Thank you all so very much.
“But I have trusted in your steadfast love,
My heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
because he has dealt bountifully with me.”
Psalm 13:5,6 ESV
